London Calling...

My life has been more ''go with the flow'' lately than I'm used to. Moving home has been interesting. Living in London was an amazing experience. It's hard to explain what it was like because there were so many elements to it that made it everything it was and ultimately made me want to come home. London lifestyle is completely different than anywhere I have ever been. These are the top three things that I miss about London:

1) FASHION

Vivienne Westwood, Alexander McQueen, Stella McCartney. Three high fashion designers that I cannot afford. All English. I would dress up just to go to these boutiques and check out the stores. It's amazing to me that people today can actually afford a t-shirt for $300. I miss walking down Regent Street or High Street Kensington and seeing the crazy get-ups people would be wearing. My favorite London stores were Primark - where everything is ridiculously cheap, TopShop and my all time favorite - ALL SAINTS!! I loved walking through All Saints. The store is incredibly over-priced but is so fashion forward it's unbelievable. I also miss Europe H&M. It makes American H&M look like Abercrombie. The dress I'm wearing in the pic to the left is from H&M and I wear it all the time. It's so comfortable! And the accesories I got from Primark. I also love UK French Connection. They know how to dress women. I miss seeing gorgeous women wearing leggings or dark denim with knee high suede or riding boots. I miss high waist mini skirts and crazy vintage pattern dresses. I miss seeing men in fitted, tailored business suits. I miss the crazy hats and nail polish colors and unkept hair. I miss shopping at Portobello Market. I have come out of living in London with a definite sense of personal style which includes shopping and dressing for my body type. My motto is ''if it feels good then that's halfway to it looking good on.'' The other half meaning it actually looks good. Please don't apply that motto to all life situations. You might be terribly dissappointed.

2) THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD

Never in my life have I had the opportunity to meet people from literally everywhere in the world. It was great because I didn't meet any Americans! I mean that in the most positive way. Most Americans I met were clueless tourists who spent more time bitching than actually sight-seeing or enjoying themselves. Such a shame!

aussies.

Melanie and Sam are two of the coolest people I've ever met.

They are from Cambera (the capital city) and Brisbane in Australia. I can assure you that they do love Vegemite as much as the rumors suggest (as you can see from the pic of Mel and Lisa). Although America and Australia have similar cultures, I can assure you that Australians certainly value different things. Like water. Australia has a water drought which has resulted in a national dependency on bottled water. I've never seen in Australian not finish their water. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have water at my disposal and has definitely made me more resource-conscious. Also, there is this chain of bars in London called The Walkabout. It is an Australasisan bar that Australians, Kiwis and South Africans flock towards to in my opinion find comfort in their alocholism. I have never felt more violated or dirty in London except when I am at a Walkabout. Oh and I'm convinced that 98% of Australian men who surf are ridiculously gorgeous.

the french.

My flatmate Heloise is so French she doesn't even know it. She smokes, drinks, eats loads of carbs, dresses impecably and still looks like a gorgeous swan - as you can see from this picture. By the way, the rumors are totally true. The French are devout romantics. The speak le pasion. They love to love and they are very horny. They are also very smart but don't really like other cultures invading their turf. I've been to Paris and had an awesome experience with French people although I have heard to the contrary. I guess it just depends on the person. They are very protective of their history and culture which makes them more refined to me. And all of them are freaking gorgeous. That's all I have to say about the French.

the natives.

Although the natives (people from London) are few and far between, I found them to be either lovely and fun or completely ignorant and rude. Londoners are always on the go. Business is everything in London, so most of the people I knew were lawyers, investors, traders, ITs, marketers or producers. I only became close to a few people from London. They were all really great, fun and sweet people. London boys are all about having a good time. Get a few drinks going and they are good to go as you can see from this lovely picture of Jules and Sam.

They are a bit hard to read when in comes to the dating scene. I only really almost fell for one London boy, and he was quite the charmer, but he left for the Caribbean and I couldn't really bare to go back to London boys after that because the impression was so severe. So I jumped over to Latin men which is why I will not write about them. All I will say is that sensuality is in their blood and that they are very persistent (almost stalker-like). Anyways, back to the natives. The midlanders were awesome! By the end of my time in England I could tell a Birmingham accent from a Hull accent or a Newcastle accent from a Manchester accent. People from the country were just so sweet. They live so simply and cherish the simplicity of their lives.

There are thousands of people from all walks of life roaming around London. The French and the Aussies and the natives were the cultures I spent most of my time getting to know.

3) NIGHTLIFE

London has a unique energy to it. Here's the deal. It's not like America where bars are open until 2 or 3 am. The bars in London close at 11:30 on weekends and 10:30 on week nights. So you can imagine how frustrating it was for me when I was forced to go to clubs. I don't really like clubs. I tried to blend in, I tried to see the fun in it, but it just gave me a headache and a bad attitude from getting hit on by deviants. I don't really like house music or doing drugs or really crazy lighting. The normal thing to do is go to a house party or throw your own (as we often did at the Clapham house) and then head out to what I like to call dancebars. My favorite bar for this activity was People's Republic in Clapham Common (other than Zoo Bar in Leicester Square which I know is cheesy but really fun) where the bar would be open until 3 am like all of the clubs but it would play normal music and it felt like you were actually in a bar and not a rave. Yes, I kind of worked it all out for my advantage. Also, if you go out with a group that includes guys, they will buy drinks and will not even let you try to help out. They will track you all night to make sure each drink you get is not purchased by a woman or yourself. Oh how I miss the chivalry of English men. American boys can learn a thing or too. The other great thing about partying in the city where public transport is all that is available - people rarely drive or even have access to a car - is taking THE NIGHT BUS!!! The night bus saved me from spending 40 GPBs (that's $80) on cabs from one end of the city to the other. After you figure out the geography of the city and know which buses go where, it's so easy to get around after hours. You meet the most interesting people too. Yes, half of them are intoxicated but hey, so am I.

There are so many other things about London, but those were my top 3. I'm missed London a lot today. I had to share :)

A little bit of humor never killed anyone...

Let's get physical....or not.

Most people who know me are very aware that if any part of my day involves physical activity I will try to avoid it at all costs. Now, I completely respect and admire people who enjoy working out. I was inspired by one of my dearest friends, Lindsay (who like me expresses her experiences via blog), to comment on this phenomenon that has taken over the world called ''working out.'' Now first, let's break down the term.

According to dictionary.com, to work means ''exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil.'' Now, the first word that jumps out at me in this definiton is TOIL. In my brain, toil refers directly to pain and personal anguish. So right off the bat the verb to work is automatically associated with excessive negativity. Also, when we as humans look at the word work or associate ourselves with the word, there is an overwhelmingly negative feeling about it. Let's face it, no one likes to work. Most people wish that going to work was like a spa day everyday. Most people would rather be passionate about their work. Even the people who make 6 figures a year don't necessarily love their job, but when they are making enough money to fly to St. Lucia for a weekend getaway (disclaimer: this is unrealistic, especially with our current economic situation) then I don't think working overtime really requires an ''i hate my job, i hate my life'' bitch fest with your therapist. So unless me working out is going to get me a private jet to Bali with P. Diddy and then I get to makeout (the PG version of what I would really do) with Adam Levine from Maroon 5 (he's my dream man), it sounds like a ''NO GO'' to me.

Now the word out can mean a variety of things. According to dictionary.com, the term out when used as an adverb means ''away from, or not in, the normal or usual place, position.'' In my life, the usual/normal places I exist include my bed, my car, my desk at work, the same spot I take up at Caribou Coffee (they have free wi-fi, how could i not spend most of my downtime there?), sometimes at Melissa's house, the movie theater, my sisters' house or a nearby local establishment/bar. I don't think a gym or even a basement with a personal gym falls in the category of ''places I normally exist in.'' So automatically, it's out of my comfort zone. To elab (that's an abbrievation for elaborate and I use this term a lot), here's what happens when I go to the gym:

1) I walk in and am immediately bombarded by a sea of tabloid hot people (think multiple Paris Hilton and Matthew McConaughey wannabe's). I'm not really too fond of narcicists, ya know the people at the gym who just check themselves out in the mirror the whole time. Now, I'm not saying that I don't think I'm good looking. I'm pretty self-aware and self-confident but I'm just not tabloid hot.
2) You step onto the machine of your choosing (mine is the bike so that I can sit down) and it is covered in sweat. Now there is a clear difference between sweat and a machine that has 'just been cleaned.'' Sweat is stickier. I know this because I am very hot-blooded and I sweat with the A.C. on full blast in an ice storm.
3) I HATE having akward run-ins with people I either went to high school with, don't like or dated. If I see parents of some of my friends, or my mom's friends that's cool. But when I walk in and immediately see someone I went on a bad date with I'm outta there. Also, I LOATH having fake conversations. ''You look really good'' and ''what have you been up to?'' and ''it's been sooooo long since I've seen you'' are too many words for me to spit out happily. Spare me the waste of energy.

To all of those people who ADORE the gym and love working out, congratualtions! Be proud and be hot and be healthy and feel good about yourself - I love it! That's terrific. Maybe one day I will work out too (i.e. when I have 3 children and no longer have a metabolism). So for now, I'm gonna stick to my 1 lap walks around Lake Arlington and (which is 1.5 miles, by the way, a big feat for me) and occassional visits to clubs on friday nights with my girlfriends - this requires me to stand around and/or dance if I so choose.

If anyone has any suggestions on types of working out I would like, please inform me. I just got back from Europe where I walked everywhere and actually enjoyed it. Now that I'm in a place where that isn't possible I'm getting back to my old loves - television, movies and laying, yes, laying, in general. Not the sex laying, just laying down and not moving. Also, eating. How could i forget about that?

Workoutaholics - I SALUTE YOU! Lipoarexics - got a room for a new member?

maybe some things aren't meant to be understood.

So since I have been home from Europe, I have been living with my mom. I knew that coming back to Jode's house meant that I wouldn't have to pay rent, I would have a personal grocery shopper and a place to store my things. Well, as I suspected, those three perks have slowly decreased in the ''reasons why I love living at home'' category. No matter what I do, if I live in my mother's house I will have to deal with living in my mother's house. I don't know how people live with their parents all of their lives! I just lived on my own for 5 months and it was amazing! I had my own bathroom and could come and go whenever. I payed my own bills (by myself), shopped for myself, organized my time around the London transportation schedule (yes, by myself) and although it was not glamorous by any means it made me feel good to have those responsibilities and a place of my own. It made me feel good to say that I can do all of this by myself. So now that I'm back, I just want to get out of Jody's house. I also want to leave because I'll never fully have control over my own life. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But I don't really understand them.

For two people who are so different, they are so similarly stubborn about different things. I am a very stubborn person, too. My mother and I are the quintessential Taureans. We stand our ground once we're sure of our position on a specific issue. Sure, we’ll listen to you and take your advice, but in the end it’s our way or the highway. Control freak – that’s the term. I can’t really explain my dad because he’s a Gemini to a T. I feel like they don't take me seriously because they have always been there for me financially and can't really see me fending for myself 100%. I feel like to them I’m still 5-year-old Chelsea.

When I go to my dad’s house I won’t even walk into my room because it is a Twilight Zone experience, scary music and all. I’ll paint you a quick picture. It looks like Barbie and Skipper had a slumber party, got high on purple and pink markers and then vomited all over my room. My bright pink Girl Talk phone is still utilized and my old stuffed animals, Wizard of Oz collector’s edition plate and huge pink flower lamp are still the main sources of decoration and lighting. I went to my dad’s house this past weekend to check on the sump pump after the Hurricane Ike made its way across Northern Illinois. I sat down in his desk chair to make a phone call and I saw a picture frame of me, Alex and Haley from a Christmas card a few years back. I was probably 20, Alex was in high school and Haley was pre-double digits (so to her that was ages ago). It was such a cute picture but the trouble was that you couldn’t really see it when it’s being blocked by a photo of Alex and I when we were 3 and 7. That photo was stuck into the crevice of the frame. I had to laugh a bit because as usual I was finding symbolism and irony in everyday situations. This frame was the only picture on the desk and it was one of the very few pictures of me, Alex and Haley all together. But it was being blocked by memories from long ago with people in it who no longer exist. I am not who I was when I was 7. I’m not even who I was when I was 17. I didn’t know my parents before they were my parents so I can’t go back to the memories of their childhoods to treat them like children. But I think there comes a point when it’s okay to let go of the good memories. Nothing lasts forever. We are human beings, constantly changing and growing. It’s okay to hold on to the fondest of memories, but it’s not reality. I’m not saying that my dad is disappointing me for wanting to still see little Chelsea running around with a huge gap in her teeth and crimped blonde hair. But, she grew up and became a pistol.

Now my mother is not off the hook entirely. Sometimes I feel like she has planted cameras in areas of my life to constantly watch me – at work, in my car, in my bedroom. The woman is good. She always knows what’s going on. Maybe she just wants to feel like I need her to help me. But, I’ve never really been the needy type. Once in a while I will have a moment where I just want my mom to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be fine. I can imagine it being quite difficult to have me as a daughter. I don’t make things easy. I know I can be a bitch or be lazy, careless, unapproachable or condascending and rude to her. I hope that when I move out our relationship will get better. Is this a normal fear? I think it is. My mom has been my biggest supporter since I was 10 and to even think about her not being here makes me physically unable to breathe. But I am who I am now. She is who she is now. Maybe at 23, I can't be as close to my mother as I would like to be. I hope one day we can be close, but right now I just need to live my life and lead my life.

coming to terms with reality...

Disclaimer: If you are offended, I'm maybe sorry.

I love watching movies that are so relatable to my life to the point that it saddens me. The reality of the movie tends to make me realize why and where I am fucking up. Yesterday I watched Reality Bites with my 15 year old sister, Danielle. I mean, I didn’t even figure out what it really meant so I have a hard time imagining her piecing the puzzle of life together. I am 23 years old, I am currently unemployed and I recently returned from Europe. I am also confused about my future career and honestly, I just want to chill. I mean, in the end, the movie ends great. Lelaina and Troy end up together, Vickie doesn’t have HIV, Sammy comes of the closet, and those are things that the average twenty something relates to. But we’re all searching for a different meaning – not a Hollywood ending. We work so hard as young adults. For years we’re encouraged by our parents, teachers, coaches and mentors with words of wisdom such as ‘’you have to get an education’’ or ‘’you have to get a job.’’ Let me tell you something about what I learned from ''my education.'' College is one of those experiences everyone needs to have. Not just for learning purposes. You learn so much about friendship and the opposite sex and responsibilities. The main tools that I have taken from my personal intercollegiate experience include the following:
1) When you bong a beer you need to relax your throat.
2) Don’t talk shit about people because it will come right back around and bite you in the ass.
3) If it feels wrong, it probably is.
4) You are not going to get an orgasm from having sex with a guy one time (and if you do congrata-fucking-lations for being the lovely 1.5% of the female population with that gift).
5) Shame is a commodity.
6) Blacking out will only get your bare ass on the internet. Or may result in a similar embarrassing episode involving nudity, sex or drugs.

I majored in public relations and in all honesty I took the easy road. I just wanted to party and meet dudes and hang out with my friends and not give two shits about this endless highway of confusion called ‘’the real world.’’ I wanted to wake up each morning and know that my day was gonna be easy breezy. Sure, once I left Party University after two years and headed back home to continue my degree at Roosevelt, I finally focused on my education. The good news was that I no longer had to take tests AKA the devil. That brings me to my RANT OF THE DAY...

How can tests unconditionally define your intelligence level?

I don’t really like being asked questions about things I’ve learned from a text book or a teacher. I especially don’t like being asked questions involving multiple choices. It just confuses everything and in my opinion, that is why so many students flunk out. Let’s confuse the students, brilliant plan! Then the alumni pitches a shit fit because GPA's go down. In ‘’the real world’’ and let’s take an investment firm for example, a sample dilemma will not include 4 potential answers. Usually it involves one answer….MAKE THE CLIENT MONEY VIA INVESTING IN LUCRATIVE AREAS OF THE MARKETPLACE. It’s so simple, but that’s the education system fucking with your head. If their gonna give multiple choice or Scantron exams they should first ask the question, allow the student to think about their initial response based on analysis of thus learned information and common sense and then bust out the optional answers one at a time. Or we should just abolish tests and stick to lab work or essays or even case studies. This all relates to my life because I guess I am just a little stressed because I have to take the Graduate Record Examination (G.R.E.) so that I can get into grad school. I checked one out online and it looked extremely scary. So I have to take a Kaplan course (MAYBE), study from a book (NO!), or just wing it (TRUE CHELSEA STYLE).

I still have yet to determine what exactly I want to go to grad school for. Honestly - and I know this sounds very arrogant –I just want to make it to my PHD so I can be Dr. Chelsea. That would be pretty sweet. But for real, I love English and history so much. I get excited to read about historical artists and politicians and heroes. Right now I am going through a major mid 16th century pre-Elizabethan phase. Now, I know that most people do not know what the hell that is. So I'll try to explain it as best I can. There was this guy called King Henry VIII - RING A BELL, ANYONE? - and his reign, string of wives, deceit, all-around arrogance and childishness led us to what would be known as one of the most disgustingly wasteful experiences in UK history. I mean, this man forced Katherine of Aragon into exile (a nunnery) for absolutely NOTHING, fathered multiple illigimate children while he was married, beheaded Anne Boleyn accusing her of incest and adultery and claiming to love God and honor the commandments but completely and hypocritically trashing the Catholic church. Ergo, and yes I said ergo, thus creating the Church of England and all he really ever became was a pushy, fat, unattractive, smelly cretin who bitched and moaned through his entire blessed life. It’s despicable. The onmly thing he should truly be proud of was fathering maybe the greatest and definitely the most well known Queens of all time, Elizabeth. After reading numerous accounts by historians and watching adaptations of his life –The Other Boleyn Girl (which sucked ass and insulted Philipa Gregory’s incredibly well-developed and decadent novel) and Showtime’s The Tudors (which also completely sucked but portrayed King Henry VIII to a T) – I am convinced that this man was countlessly excused of murdering thousands of people and setting women back ten-fold in our rise to become equals. It’s embarrassing, really. But without King Henry VIII we would not have examples of ''what not to do when running a country.'' Clearly, President Bush did not get that memo or do his summer reading before his first term in office with the book ''why not to run a country with the sole purpose of chasing your father's failures.'' Okay, well if there was a book with this title hopefully Bush will realize that he has joined the ranks of political idiots like King Henry VIII, Hitler, Mussolini, Robert Mugabe, etc. and write the damn book.