Truth about new government...from the horse's mouth

Many of my "millions" of blogging admirers out there in cyber space are aware that I am very opinionated (mostly, I dare say regarding things that don't really mean anything at all). But when it comes to politics I tend to let on slightly as to my position, but in the end find it no one's business which policies I agree or disagree with. I see so many people post their comments on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter...and more power to them. I guess I have always felt like my political beliefs were of a deeply personal relationship that I don't have to share with anyone. Like a secret love affair, without the irrisistable lust. But, when it came to people bashing our President (whom, yes, I did vote for - proud of it then and today) I couldn't help but get frustrated. Rome wasn't built in a day. I don't remember exactly who coined that statement, I think it was Julius Caesar, but nevertheless, what President Obama has done is monumental, drove from a fearless and restless fight to the finish, and has lessened the global hatred toward our country after eight years of conservative leadership. Sure, there are some things that I don't fully agree with, but for the most part "a change was needed, and a change was made." Don't know who said that either.

Either way, I am currently reading A Journey: My Political Life by Tony Blair. If you don't know who that is, I sincerely feel sorry for you and request that you immediately Google him. I'll cut some slack to those who were born in the 90's. I'll give you a hint - what President Obama is to America, Tony Blair was to England (in more ways than one - the Labour party and Obama's Democratic party mirror one another quite intricately) except for much longer and post-Conservative ruling for several decades. And if you want to know more you should watch "The Special Relationship" with Dennis Quaid (as President Clinton) and Michael Sheen (as Tony Blair). And up until recently, Blair has maintained quite an honorable and respected reputation politically and as a person. If you want to know more about "up until recently" google that too. In his book, which was just released here in the States, he says the following (from his chapter, High Expectations where he discusses in depth the night of and events surrounding his swearing in as Prime Minister of Great Britain in 1997):

"When Barack Obama fought and won his extraordinary campaign for the presidency back in 2008, I could tell exactly what he would have been thinking. At one level, the excitement and energy created by such hope vested in the candidate has the effect of buoying you up, driving you on, giving all that you touch something akin to magic. The country is on a high and you are up there with them.

At another, deeper level, however, you quickly realize that though you are the repository of that hope and have in part been the author of it, it now has a life of its own, a spirit of its own and that spirit is soaring far beyond your control. You want to capture it, tame it and harness it, because its very independence is, you know, leading the public to an impossible sense of expectation.

Expectations of this nature cannot be met. That's what you want to tell people. Often you do tell them. But the spirit can't be too constrained. And when finally it departs, leaving your followers with reality - a reality you have never denied and which you have even sought to bring to their attention - the danger is of disillusion, more painful because of what preceded it."

Such profound words from a source who has lived through exactly the description above. We all were so amped up (well, liberals at least) when President Obama was elected. I'll never forget that night, sitting on my couch with my mom and a friend, tears streaming down our faces at the historical event that just took place. The first black president, the first President since Clinton to rally for change and inspire people all over our country. We were stoked. Change has come, change has come. But after the dust settled from that night, the politics took place.

The actual decisions, fights and lobbying, shoulder rubbing and speech-making, and so on and so forth started to occur, and we all waited for something to happen. Republican, Democrat, Independents, whatever you call your party, we were all given a laudry list of resolutions and almost 2 years later we're all looking around saying "where is the change?" Whether it is the Bush tax cuts issue, the economy "shit-uation", the unemployment increases, immigration - whatever is, people aren't getting the results they thought they would hense his recent 52% dissaproval rating. But as I said above, "Rome wasn't built in a day." I think the American people were expecting a day or less. So I'm now realizing why Obama has been getting so much flack lately...the expectations were high, the promise was higher but what everyone seems to forget is that the groundwork is molded now, but the results take years.

That is all...

New Disease: Law Enforcement Egotism

I live in a state that has very strict legalities when it comes to driving. I understand that the point of having police officers is to enforce the law, but when it goes from upholding safety on the road to unvalidated accusations against careful drivers hasn't it gone too gar? Texting/talking and driving is hugely distracting, no doubt. But there is no law that says you cannot have your phone accessible to you in your own vehicle, should you happen to receive/need to make a call during your trip. I went to Costco a few weeks ago and purchased one of those Bluetooth speakers so I don't have to wear that annoying thing in my ear. Most people are actively taking measures to use their mobile phones while driving but in a safe manor. Including me...and I almost got a ticket for it!

I was just driving home from my friend, Wendy's house. About 3 blocks from my apartment this cop pulls up next to me. As he pulls up next to me I was ironically plugging my phone into the charger. So thinking I'm using it he yells out the window "hey, you need to stop texting or I'll pull your ass over!" He proceeded to follow me down the street screaming out the window at me. I couldn't believe this guy. Obviously during some course of my journey I'm going to be touching my phone - either to turn the sound off when ringing, charging it, seeing who's calling or moving it - whatever the case may be! Why does it automatically have to be thought of as texting because I'm simply touching my cell phone. I'm touching my diet coke too! I see people driving around all day with their phones glued to their ears and never getting as much as a slap on the wrist. But because I'm young and driving with my windows down and music up, I'm automatically violating the law?! That's fucking stupid.

So as I'm pulling into the alley, he follows me and I just stopped to try and defend myself. He proceeds to yell at me and I said to him, "how can you just accuse someone of texting and driving without actually seeing it happen. I was plugging my phone into the charger and I can prove it to you because you will see no texts sent or received within the last 20 minutes that I was operating my vehicle." He goes, "How do I know you weren't trying to send out a text message?" I said, "You can't just assume that! It's unlawful of you because you don't have just cause or proof." I was desperately biting my tongue, I wanted to ream this guy a new one. So being me I had to get a little last push in so he'd remember me, so I said "don't you think the drug dealers and rapists down the street deserve a bit more of your valuable time than a random girl touching her cell phone?" He said, "i hope I don't encounter you again - next time I won't be so generous."

HAHA! Fucking Po Po's. This is LA - they don't pay you to waste your time instilling the fear in people. Go pull over someone driving high or drunk! Don't waste your time on the intelligent, you aren't fooling anyone!

can't see straight

I am soooooo tired right now it is crazy. I think my four day anxiety attack is over but I'm not too sure because every time I try to breathe, I can't produce a full breath.

That's all.

Music, Oh Music, Where Art Thou?

Okay, so I made the huge mistake of watching the MTV Video Music Awards last night. This was something I used to thoroughly enjoy, but now it feels like one huge hoax. It's a given that everything in media is intended for publicity and sales, but it all feels so in-genuine and forced. The entire time I felt like I was watching a really terrible beauty pageant for toddlers. Everyone chomping at the bit for camera time, the MC (Chelsea Handler) pulling any borderline shocking comment out of her ass and laughing about it in the hopes that other people will laugh along with her (instead of at her, like me), little girls having crying fits over Justin Beiber who let's face it, looks like a pre-pubescent Hillary Swank, wannabe Jersey Girls throwing out their "Bumpits" because Snooki retired the poof. What a waste of 3 hours of my life!!! It was sad, really. People act like it is the most historic and important evening in the world. Oh, and I realized that the only thing I have in common with Taylor Swift is our singing voices - pitchy and whiney. I think Taylor would have a great career as a songwriter, but America clearly cannot differentiate a good voice with a shit one. The one good thing (there is one, I promise) I will say about the VMA's this year is it was genius to have Eminem open the show. He has so much fire and passion in his performances, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He's an incredible lyricist and I found the messages in many songs on his new album very real and honest. It was reported that this year's VMA's were the highest rated VMA's since 2002, which I find incredibly ironic considering how cheesy and predictable it was this year. The whole thing left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

All of this VMA's talk brings me to the real point...today's music is pretty disappointing. Anyone can sound great with an auto tune harmonizing the vocals on a track. Anyone can write a song - all you need is an ability to rhyme. In time. It ain't a crime. To feel so sublime. Ya get me? There are people out there making millions of dollars writing terrible songs about love, sex, big booty bitches, college, being drunk and stoned...it's pathetic. Give me something more! Tell me how you really feel about your giant facial mole or the trials and tribulations of never being picked for a kickball team at gym class or losing red rover. I mean that stuff sticks with you when you are 8, 9, 10 years old - you carry those things your whole life whether you admit it or not. Okay now I'm going off on a tangent, but the on the surface bullshit songs are getting old. And it's sad, really, because there are so many talented artists out there who go decades long in the game and never get the recognition they deserve. If I could have my own VMA-style awards show, the following artists would be there for sure:

Adele - "To Make You Feel My Love"
Ray Lamontange - "Trouble"
Arcade Fire - "Keep The Car Running"
Vampire Weekend - "A Punk"
Kings of Leon - "Radioactive"
Gorillaz - "On Melancholy Hill"
The National - "Mistaken For Strangers"
The Black Keys - "Tighten Up"
Band of Horses - "No Ones Gonna Love You"
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings - "I Learned the Hard Way"
MGMT - "Kids"
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - "Home"
Of Montreal - "Suffer For Fashion"
David Gray - "Ain't No Love"

Truths For Mature Humans

I got a little kick out of this one today thanks to Gemma for sending it on over - I can always count on a British person to brighten my day with their no hold barred account of life ;)

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Expect the Unexpected

In my short 25 years I've learned one very valuable lesson that has saved me hours upon hours of stress and anxiety - especially over the last couple of years. That lesson is this:

You cannot just expect things from people. When you do, even slightly, you give that person the opportunity to let you down.

Okay, so I know that because it's coming from me it doesn't sound very shocking because I'm the queen of "face saving" and "putting walls up." I know, I know...I'm working on it :) I learned it from my mother - thanks mom! But without the thick skin, the things I've done, people I've met and endeavors that I will take on would/will never exist. The reason I bring this up is because we would all love for things to just work out, people to be genuine and the world to right itself when it feels off kilter.

For example, when my close friends confide in me, which has been happening a lot lately, I  listen, never judge and just really try to put myself in their shoes. Additionally, I try to relay the information that has been bestowed upon me. I don't necessarily consider myself wise, but I've been through a few shit storms. Unfortunately, it takes a lot more than giving someone advice for that person to really grasp what you are saying. Stay tuned for next week's blog about people who always love to bitch about their problems but never do anything about them! Oh yea, that's gonna be a good one.

Anyways, it's going to take a very heartfelt experience, often resulting in a broken heart or loss of friendship or something that will greatly affect you to the point where you allow yourself the option to be free of expectations. Believe me, it's a very sad realization. How unfortunate it is that we cannot rely on our own hope or good will of people? But the truth is that most people are selfish. And why shouldn't they be? It's like a viscious circle. Once you are hurt by someone, what do you do? You self preserve and use your defense mechanisms to get through it. That usually results in you shutting down a bit and slowly you learn to put yourself first. I don't mean that you never think about others, but at least in my life, I have just come to the point where my own self appreciation comes ahead of the feelings of others. And I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. You are with yourself for the rest of your life...learn to love the day to day :)

I have heard from several older and thus wiser friends that your 20's are pretty damn hard. Your comfort zones are virtually non-existent. You go out into the world blindly and on your own  (well some of us), hoping for the best. Get it....hoping! We are all hoping for simplicity or love or success (whatever that may mean to you). And sometimes we fall flat on our asses. But eventually we have to pick ourselves up again and walk on.

So maybe it's about learning to live with ourselves in a world full of unanswered questions. I find that very liberating. I know many people who don't feel comfortable with the unknown. And that's okay too. We are all different. But, we have to start realizing that everything isn't going to just "work out." Some things we will have to give up on, but not everything! So I guess what I'm trying to say is love yourself by learning about yourself first. Take everything in. Do something crazy. Date someone you normally wouldn't. Observe and maybe one day we'll be able to expect more :) That's what I hope at least.

the end.

GRASPing Tightly Everyday!

My mother and I were fortunate enough to have had lunch this past Saturday with a very amazing lady, Denise Cullen. Denise's son Jeff suffered a long battle with substance abuse addiction and very tragically died in August of 2009. Her experience with Jeff's addiction and her own career as a medical and clinical social worker have both greatly contributed to her current endeavor as the new director of national foundation, GRASP (Grief Recovering After a Substance Passing). During our afternoon with Denise we were able to share stories and through our time together I truly felt like I had made a new friend!

There are currently 12 GRASP groups throughout the nation. Only 12! That's not many at all especially when you consider the amount of addicted people there are in this country. So I'm going to do my part and start an LA chapter. I'm hoping that I'll have some support from the locals - there are 9 million of them!

Just wanted to share :) I'm really excited.

Dancing Senior Citizens

Senior Citizens Take On "Billie Jean"

Senior Citizens Take On "Billie Jean"