These Coming Weeks

Apartment lease signed...check.
Mattress picked out/deposit put down...check.
Room packed up...okay, well that's still a work in progress.
From there it just gets a little hazy. With the holidays around the corner I've got to admit, I am feeling a bit somber at the thought of spending a lot of quality time with friends and family and then just days later having to leave them. This experience is much different than the other moves I've made because I always went away with the notion that I would be coming back. Whether that time lasted 3 weeks of 6 months, it wouldn't last much more than that. But now, I am actually packing up everything that belongs to me and trekking it across the nation to Los Angeles. Obviously I wouldn't pack up and leave everything I know and love if I wasn't sure that I could handle it and love it, even if I had to learn to. Believe me, I know what it means to learn to love a place you are living. For example, although London was amazing and the experience was unforgettable, it did take me about 2 months to settle in and finally feel comfortable and actually enjoy the aspects of the city. Everyone probably thought that I loved every minute of it, but it was difficult. It was hard to be on my own in a completely different culture let alone continent, knowing absolutely no one, all the while having to get my own job and house. I learned a lot - mostly about myself. For example, I learned that I rush into things. I get scared and I panic that I won't find what is best for me, and instead I just choose the first thing I come across because it is available. Maybe it's just my excitable nature, which is fine. But it almost makes me feel contradictory because I am a full believer in never settling and always going for what you want even if you don't get it, at least you tried.

So anyways, I am stoked! Christina and I are really excited to move into our new home...it's adorable, by the way. My mom's first choice! I'm so glad she came with us - she's a very smart person, especially when it comes to signing contracts and asking all of the necessary questions. So here's how I know that I'm doing the right thing by moving....I thought about every aspect of what this would entail not just a year ago but almost 2 years ago. While living in London I actually did think about where I would want to live when I got back. Knowing me, I would be vigorously searching for a new relocation destination. This is just who I am...a vagabond, someone who needs to feel the changes and go with the flow to feel normal. Even if I just had a feeling about something, and then actually go for it. Yes, even if thast means moving thousands of miles away, at least my free spirit would be honored and I could be me. But back to the topic at hand. I know I am making the right decision for the following reasons (in addition to having thought about this for 2 years). I know because I actually sat down and said, "this is where I want to go, I'll figure it out when I get there." Now, you are probably thinking, what no plan?! Well, every time I've made a plan I've wanted to back out. So if I learn from my mistakes and go somewhere allowing things to just happen to me, I can't set myself up for failure. So other than taking the time out to find an apartment, driving around the city just to see what I will be living in, and picking out a mattress, the rest is being left to the moving Gods.

When I get there, having no children, husband or other commitments back here to keep me, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Feels good! I don't have to worry about the Visa expiring or the job sucking or the bad roommate situation back in Chicago. By the way, another reason I am who I am today is because of my life-long anti-filtering campaign - boo fucking hoo. The moral of the story is, whether you think I'm completely out of control for constantly moving around or that I'm running away or that I'm wasting money...you don't walk in my shoes and you don't have any room to judge. One life, people. Live it.

P.S. While I'm looking out over the shores of the Pacific ocean you will be 4 feet deep in snow.